Portrait of a bully

Identifying and confronting the one who makes things difficult for everyone.

Bullying "is the use of force, coercion, hurtful teasing or threat, to abuse, aggressively dominate or intimidate. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception of an imbalance of physical or social power. This imbalance distinguishes bullying from conflict. Bullying is a subcategory of aggressive behavior characterized by the following three criteria: hostile intent, imbalance of power, and repetition over a period of time. Bullying is the activity of repeated, aggressive behavior intended to hurt another individual, physically, mentally, or emotionally."(X)

It is painfully present nowadays and goes beyond school hallways and children. You just have to look at what is going on in the Russia-Ukraine invasion. Yes, you guessed it, Putin is a bully. Continue reading and see if you can spot the parallels and similarities

But how does the "bully" come about? Would knowing the origins and circumstances of this personality formation help us stop the siege? Lots of theories surround the personality formation of the bully. There are characteristics common to all of those akin to bullying someone and below it is a good summary: Psychological profile of the bully (bullying): 9 traits in common (yestherapyhelps.com)

1. Need to dominate and control others

They like to dominate others and feel superior, because they generally have low self-esteem. They look for "weaker victims. They engage in dichotomous thinking or "all or nothing thinking"

2. Explosive and impulsive temperament

They are not generally emotionally intelligent. They lack insight and are not able to control their emotional issues. They would rather point the finger and project those issues onto someone else.

3. They enjoy and feel stimulated by violence

Bullies crave respect and attention. The biggest issue is that they go about getting those by instilling fear, as they do not how to have genuine alliances. They enjoy violence as it engenders fear, specially it the violence if inflicted in public. In this way, they get attention and instill fear in those watching.

4. Lack of empathy

Bullies come in different shapes and sizes

They are not able to put themselves in anyone's shoes.  They cannot feel what you feel, and they maintain a cold distance from their emotions and the emotions of others.  Some have postulated that these individuals do not have any feelings but in truth, they do.  They just think that others don't.  They use people to fulfill their emotional needs.