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An essential conversation

Updated: Jan 21

			Are you ready to make amends?

One of the hardest conversations to have involves saying "I'm sorry." It is difficult to accept that you are responsible for hurting someone and living with that realization without doing anything about it is nearly impossible. Guilt will gnaw at you not letting your light shine. It is a dark, dark place to inhabit.

Guilt is considered the mafia of the mind. While hidden, it manipulates you in substantial ways, not letting you move ahead in your journey. Because of how unsettling it is to feel guilty about something, it triggers a need to make things right somehow and take responsibility. In this way, guilt can be a positive thing.

"When guilt stems from something you did to someone, apologizing and seeking to avoid repeating your behavior is one clear way to respond and could help you achieve self-forgiveness."

It is true, making amends is step 9 of the Twelve steps in Alcoholic Anonymous. But first you need to identify those who were hurt by your actions: that would be step 8. To summarize:

"Amends is compensation for a loss, damage, or injury of any kind. There are steps you take to make amends, which include:

  • Take stock of the damage you caused.

  • Express the desire to repair it.

  • Admit to your mistakes.

  • Find a way to repair the damage.

  • Be patient about getting someone’s trust back.

Step 8: “We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.”

Step 9: “We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” (X)